I have had a terrible last two weeks. …. So many nightmares. Night terrors. Waking up crying out people’s names. Sobbing in my sleep (David said I was saying “Merry’s” name during those.) Fighting the exhaustion of working out. Incredibly hot weather (85 F with 80% humidity). Bleh. Applying for jobs. Getting rejected for grocery stores, clothing stores. …. David and I have been talking about it the last few days. We are both feeling weary and worn out. It seems like every time we get our hopes up, our hopes get buried under and avalanche.

Church is still great. I lost two contact with two of my five friends. (That rocked me to my core.) We lost our insurance. We are on the lowest costing insurance plan now. Basically, “do not go to your doctors because we need that money to cover our medications co-pay.”

Anyway, this is one of those time where I have to believe despite my feelings.

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