So, just to let everyone know, Dad and I talk once a week. It is helping to ground me more into reality, since the relationship between my Father and I had was the “thing” that my ex attacked the most. I should schedule Aunt Patty in for once a month phone call.
I watched this movie the other day, “The Map of Tiny Perfect Things.” I clicked with her knowledge of her mother’s death as I was aware my mother was going to die the day she died. I ended up crying for hours afterwards — just releasing pain and grief. I was so worried. Sometimes, when I release the volcano of emotions inside — it is like going to look out a window. Sometimes I open up the blinds, and the world is there. And sometimes I open up the blinds, and I cannot find the world. But this one was different. I felt a lot more piece. David was holding me and praying for me — comforting me. I woke up feeling better than I had in months.
I need to cry more for things in my past. I just do not know how to cry. Maybe now that I am safer, I can mourn things that hurt.
And, I was watching a movie with David about two weeks ago, and Bubsy was on my shoulder. He then started to fall off and …
Ouch. He also scratched me three times around my neck. David cleaned all the wounds and then applied neosporin (?) and band aids.
It has been a good time. I am healing. Getting therapy. Since the hard months of November and December are coming, I am going to ask for weekly therapy.